My adventures with the EMS.

If you must know, "EMS" stands for Electrical Mosquitoe Swatter, which is my nickname for the contraption that's the shape of a lawn tennis raquet and is lethal (yeah, literally) against those irritating little sons of bitches, mosquitoes. Since its arrival over a month ago, I have put it to some pretty good use, meaning that I've been successful in electricuting over a dozen mosquitoes to death. But, I'd have to admit, it's hard work; although it's the kind of work that gives you pleasure on its completion. You see, since these little sons of bitches are just so overtly annoying and irritating, it is only natural for a person to feel something that's just the opposite on killing them; in fact, one would even feel like he were doing a great service to mankind in the process of wiping another one of these good-for-nothing things off the face of our planet.

Indeed, it is rather satisfying to witness the riddance of an unsuspecting mosquitoe with an electric Pop! and instantaneous sparking. So much so that I've accepted using this "weapon" as my fundamental duty and right - something that would surely down in the constitution if I were to be declared the President tomorrow; in fact, making it necessary for each human to brandish this "weapon" would be the first thing I'd do if I ever were to be made the President. I would take it upon myself to see to it that everyone knows how to use 'em right.

Hmmm, seeing as I myself am an amateur at this thing, I should probably do some more practice with it before making ridiculous promises.

-| AG.