Note: The F-word has been used excessively, which might strike as somewhat un-characteristic of me. So, if you would rather not further pollute your mind with my explicit language, I would advise you to
leave now.
So, I went to attend this university seminar with a couple of my friends. Despite the nice arrangements (nice seats, nice air-conditioning, nice-looking reception girls, etc.), by the end of the first hour, I felt like chucking something very heavy and jagged at the speaker. Why? Because he was a dipshit, that's why. He spoke with a fake accent, he was balding and fat, he screwed up in mid-speech and his jokes could have been rightfully placed at the bottom drawer of a cabinet marked "Mankind's Poorest Jokes". Anyway, I couldn't take that crap anymore and so I left an hour early. I caught an auto from outside the building and went directly to Priya, from where I contemplated walking home after roaming around for sometime. When I had hailed the auto and asked that dipshit about the price he had said "
Paacheese" (that's Rs. 25) and when I got to Priya and handed him a Rs. 50 note, the fucked up asshole just smiled and as I asked why the fuck wasn't he giving me the change back, he smoothly said, "Rate
paachaase ka tha". D'oh!
Anyway, Priya was packed, something predictable on a Sunday afternoon. More nice-looking girls. I bought a sugar-free Red Bull and went to check my E Mail at Relaince Web World. After that I went into this clothes store and as I was boredly drifting from one display to another, this girl came up to me. And she was fucking tall! She had to be atleast 6' 1'' ... at 5' 10'', I felt like a hobbit. Anyway, after some time I left the store and consumed the last drop of Red Bull. I needed something more to drink. So, I went to McD to get a Diet Coke. I know what you are thinking,
how the fuck can I consume Diet Coke after drinking Red Bull? Yeah, well, that thought flashed through my mind a couple of times ... but, what the hell, I bought it anyway. Now, as I massage my stomach, I feel that I should have done otherwise. My stomach feels like a volumetric flask in which some careless student mixed two of the most strong acids without any reservations. Burp!
Polite as always,
- AG.